I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
