My room smells like vodka and shame
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
