I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
