marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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