I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
