You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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