Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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