Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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