I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
