Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
