so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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