You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize