dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
