So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
