If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
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She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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