I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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