Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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