There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
