I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
