Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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