I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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