dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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