Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I puked a lego.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
