she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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