I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
