you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
