Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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