Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do vagina's smell?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
