Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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