So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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