I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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