I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
