Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
