I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
