HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize