Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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