Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
