i need an iv and a liver transplant
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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