Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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