you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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