so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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