Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
why is half of my head shaved?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
