I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
