OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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