Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
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Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
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Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
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