I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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