Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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