so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
