If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
