There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i think i have two assholes
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
