first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
