we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
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You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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