apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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