it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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