Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
