Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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