Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
