I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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