Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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