Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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