I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
