does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
