went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
